I am Crayfish, Hear Me Roar

So I got the most random email the other day at work.

Necessary background information: I work at a community college that's basically in the middle of the woods. There's a lake, a little creek, a river, and tons and TONS of trees. It's actually really pretty. But with the forest comes lots of forest creatures...

So two days ago I got a random email entitled "Nature Alerts", which kind of sounds like I'm back watching Kratt's Kreatures (which is totally fine with me...) But as I'm skimming the email, this section jumps out:

"The chimney crayfish are out and about in Parking Lot C, so do your best to not run them over. They are 4-5 inches long and open their tiny pinchers when you approach as a defense mechanism. If you would like to pick one up to move into the woods for safety, use two fingers to lightly pick them up from the tail end." 

Um WHAT? Are you telling me as part of my duties here I also have to add "crayfish rescuer" to my resume? Am I supposed to wander around searching for crayfish to rescue? What if they attack me with their "tiny" pinchers? What if they band together to take over the parking lot? And the most important question...Can I lead a rescue expedition instead of doing my usual work? Please?

So as I'm trying to picture myself leading a chimney crayfish rescue mission, another email comes in, this time with a couple pictures of the wildlife mentioned in the first email. There's a bunch of pictures of students smiling as they're rescuing crayfish from the parking lot, and then one of a student holding a garter snake. Cool, random student, but I've still got you beat with that time I held the baby alligator.

THEN all these other emails start flooding in with people freaking out about the random snake picture, asking if it's poisonous, and how we can tell, and it gets crazy. For a few hours the original person that sent the email keeps sending reassuring emails that the snakes aren't poisonous, attaching pictures of poisonous snakes to compare and contrast, and basically taking me back to my undergrad bio days. It was the most entertaining email chain I've ever been a part of.

And THEN after all that, I walked out after work to drive away and I saw a poor crayfish that was the victim of a hit and run. I swear, people. READ YOUR DANG EMAILS.

-K

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